If you're not sure you measure up...

A little girl digs deep inside trashcans at the local park to find bottles and cans that can be recycled for money. With grimy hands and a happy grin, she looks up at her mother, who is doing the same thing in the trashcan a little farther down the sidewalk.  Together, they take their tattered treasures to the recycling center to earn a few feeble dollars. And her mom splits that money with her to say, "Thank you for helping provide for our family once again."

What probably should have been a shameful and embarrassing experience for me was one of my favorite memories from childhood... simply because my mom was doing something with me.

You see, my mom has never been one of those crafty moms. She never sewed or knitted or baked.  And we could not afford to go places together.  But she would spend time with me.  And she made me feel important to our family.  And that's all that mattered.

Do I measure up?
After reading an article about the phenomenon of moms searching the Internet for the next best idea (all the while feeling like we don't measure up and wondering how in the world we can sort through all the Pinterest pins to even start to do something with all these great ideas that other creative moms apparently do with or for their families all the time), I was reminded once again that my children just want to be with me. And it doesn't matter what we do together.  What they don't want to hear me say is another, "Just a minute," that ends up being another hour because I'm trying to find a fun 15-minute activity for us to do together just because it fits in with our history lesson.

You see, my sons have never seen the Pinterest pin that's plaguing me.  They don't know that I've never mummified apples with them.  They don't even know mummified apples exist.

So why do I feel less than par if I don't find the time to make mummified apples with my children?

Because... I've fallen victim to something.  It's this thing called comparison-motherhood:  comparisons to other mothers, comparisons to my own ideals of perfection.  Comparison-motherhood makes me less than what I really am.

In this day and age when every Pinterest pin, every Disney Family Fun craft, every cute & cuddly cupcake recipe, and every blogpost or facebook update by {insert supermom's name here} results in those feelings of inadequacy...

Let me just be real with you and say... I don't make cute and cuddly cupcakes.  And I don't really like messy crafts very much.  Nor do I make homemade soap or any other number of great and phenomenal super-mom things.

But my sons still love me for who I am, not who I am NOT.  

After reading Todd Wilson's Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe, I felt compelled to share our real-life experiences with others.  Then I read Erica's post (at Confessions of a Homeschooler) about how she does it all, and Sue's Story about starting out as a homeschooling mother. What really spoke to me were the responses that these posts had received from so many other moms out there.

We all seem to measure ourselves against circumstances and people who aren't really real.

At times, we think:

Everyone does more than I do.
No one else ever gets frustrated like I do.
I'm not doing a good job.
Everyone else is a better wife/mother/teacher than I am.
No one else has a messy house.
Everyone else is more patient than I am.
No one else has doubts about what they're doing.
Everyone else's children act better, are more talented, or are just plain smarter than ours. Will these wonderful blessings God has bestowed upon us EVER show that I've at least TRIED to teach them MANNERS?!?!?

What we see of others' lives is not the WHOLE STORY.  All of us are making messes.  All of us get exhausted.  And ALL of us fall short when we compare ourselves to perfection and Utopian ideals.

So, let me just go ahead and spill the beans - just in case you might ever start to think I'm some supermom extraordinaire.  I'm not a gourmet cook.  I don't bake my own bread.  And sometimes we have cereal for supper.  In fact, a few weeks ago I finally realized why we shouldn't have Ramen noodles for lunch every day.  Though we've never actually RUN OUT of clean clothes to wear, most of the time the clean laundry is in baskets on top of the washer and dryer, DESPITE my love for Flylady routines.  I wad up my fitted sheets and stuff them in the linen closet because I'm too lazy to fold them up the right way.  And I hardly ever iron.

Sometimes... my home looks like this.

I'm impatient.  I tell my kids Wait a second when I should hurry.  I tell my kids Hurry when I should wait a second.

Crafts are not one of my strengths.  Neither is teaching preschool-aged children. I still have not settled on a favorite math curriculum despite my rather extensive background in mathematics. I'm always planning to try out new things only to find out how much I don't know about [such and such].  In fact, you can read (and laugh) about my rather pitiful attempts at gardening, and why we still don't own any livestock on our farm.  You can even read about how we did not meet my rather lofty goals for this school year.  Why would I post things like this? Because it's that important to me to be real and not feed into lies others believe about themselves or others.

Yes, we all strive to be better moms, but let us not forget the moms we already are.  God chooses to use us even though we're not perfect.  And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness..." (2 Corinthians 12:9).  His strength is made perfect in our weakness - in our every imperfection - in every mistake we make as moms.  We are covered by God's infinite power, love and grace!  As our pastor once preached,

He'll take the manure of our lives and fertilize our gardens with it.

(In case you're wondering, yes, we live in the country.  These are the types of metaphors we fully understand and deeply ponder every Sunday...)

So no matter how imperfect we may be - no matter how much we feel like we just can't get it together - no matter how many times we may feel like we completely blow it as a mom - love trumps over all, for our love for our children covers all our sins.  (Proverbs 10:12)

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Your children love you for who you ARE, not who you are NOT.  All they want is time with you.  And it doesn't have to be building a LEGO Periodic Table, either.  It can be... just a little game, or just a little talk, or just a little dance, or just a little book, or just a little silliness. 

As I challenge myself with these thoughts, I also extend my challenge to you:  Don't let all the ideas of what you're NOT doing seep into the time you could actually be spending with your children.  

God chose you to to be the mother of your children.  And, in their eyes (and His), you already measure up.

Article modified and reposted from the archives.